Part of the stigma attached to the lifestyle is that it is "abnormal" for us to enjoy the BDSM activites that we do enjoy. But that is what it is, a stigma. Because many of us learn at a young age that s/m for example is outside the socially accepted norm, we feel guilt or shame when truly accepting the fantasy we have associated with that lifestyle.

Here is my take. I know that it will take time for me to embrace the whole of the things that I enjoy in the realm of BDSM...but I know that there is no reason for me NOT to accept them beyond the limitations that I have set for myself. Limitations that I have imposed from a learned lifetime of "normalcy."

The freedom about the lifestyle is that I can truly enjoy what I enjoy about sex, pleasure, pain, submission, etc. If I step back from my fantasy and give in to the social norm, I will be missing out on what makes me happy. BDSM IS my norm, and the lifestyle is just that...a lifestyle.

I hope that you will share your stories with us the way you envision them. You would be surprised at just how many people out there share your kink.

Best wishes,
nei