In big trouble please help

[mirage030303]

Well he called today, humm?! gawd i felt so mixed up. We tryed to talk as freinds, but boy! do i get his Dom side out fast!!! And didn't even try.
The real problem here is that he is fighting his Dom side. He is scared of what he might do. Its like he has two men inside of him. One who is extreamly kind, caring,low key and scared, and of course his Dom side who is exacly the opposit.
My question here is mostly for Masters.
When you first started realising you were Doms, were you insecure? and could you say that you have almost two personaletys? Is this a normal fase he is going though?
And the way the conversation whent i doubt he will be able to fight this for long. But as you all know i probebly will submit, as hard as i would like to fight it, and he will drop me there like he did last time again.
Gawd he knows how to get to me!!!

[icey]

im sorry , this isnt answering your question and im certainly not a Master but this got me wondering

Its like he has two men inside of him. One who is extreamly kind, caring,low key and scared, and of course his Dom side who is exacly the opposit.

re-read this back to yourself and think for a minute, does that sound right to you?
Doms do care and SHOULD care, do you think its normal that the 'Dom side' doesnt? being harsh,uncaring and cold etc is fine for play but thats all it is...role play,but in day to day life when he's 'feeling Domly'?
all the BS you read on the net about being worthless a piece of meat not worthy of love,their kindness etc is exactly that ...BS

(unless ive misunderstood and you mean only in role play but by your own admission you've only played the once)

id think very seriously if i was you.
maybe he is confused and thats normal but if he feels he needs to be uncaring when he's being the Dom which cant just be switched on and off btw
then somethings not right.

[TomOfSweden]

The real problem here is that he is fighting his Dom side. He is scared of what he might do. Its like he has two men inside of him. One who is extreamly kind, caring,low key and scared, and of course his Dom side who is exacly the opposit.
My question here is mostly for Masters.
When you first started realising you were Doms, were you insecure? and could you say that you have almost two personaletys? Is this a normal fase he is going though?

I think we all have a little party in our heads all with conflicting opinions and feelings. But there's no conflict between being caring and dominant. Quite the contrary I'd say. Domination for me isn't only to impose my will, but also to take those I dominate under my wing. For me it's an intrinsic part of it, and nothing I can turn off.

Could it be that you're mixing up dominant with sadistic. Yeah, it's very important to have ones sadist inclinations under control. Very important. If he can't, then I'd be very careful getting involved with this guy. It's one thing being able to live out ones fantasies. Quite another not to have ones impulses under control.

My personal journey was that I was a dominant and insecure. But there was no insecurity about my dominance. It was just how I was. I didn't understand I was dominant, (that came much later) so there wasn't much to be insecure about regarding that. I was extremely insecure about my sadism. Mostly because everybody in my entire surroundings told me it was wrong and sick. But I lost my virginity to a masochist, (it seemed like I had it written all over my face) so that was a rude awakening. All my insecurities about it were gone over night.

And the way the conversation whent i doubt he will be able to fight this for long. But as you all know i probebly will submit, as hard as i would like to fight it, and he will drop me there like he did last time again.
Gawd he knows how to get to me!!!

Do you really think he loves you, or has feelings for you? If he did would he go on like this? The two of you have obviously given it a shot. If he's still vacillating now, you know that somethings not right. Could it be that he's going on like this because you're letting him getting away with anything? Immature men often will treat their women just as badly as they'll let them. Could it be that he loves the sex you're having and hasn't met any other as good in bed, but that there's other qualities he also thinks is important for him to see you as somebody to settle down with?