Think of it this way, slavey. You could be acting selfish and vanilla and when he comes home after a tough day at work you start bitching about the dripping faucet or the trash that needs to go out or tell him things like "by the way I spent $500 on clothes today - thanks, honey!"...

Instead, you comfort him and take care of him and listen and please him with your service and giving and willingness. That's all you can do.

Some things they just have to work out for themselves. Especially work related things. Be patient with him - he'll figure out a way to handle it, and if not, he'll find another position. I doubt Tom will tolerate his work impacting his personal life for very long.