common traits

[mysc]

Hmm let's see if I fit the profile

an almost obsession with cleaning.

hmm only when I have pms, I'm so lazy lol

trying every new cleaning product that comes out (then almost always going back to their regular brands)

Yes and yes.. My kitchen cabinet is stuffed with cleaning products (which I only use when I have pms) and I only use them once .. Vanish ROCKS!
Oh and I bought a steambuggy, but that thing stopped cleaning after 2 months.

detesting body hair (on themselves)
Absolutly, I have a new obsession since 5 months, I use tweezers to get rid of pubic hair. It helps me to relax after a hard day just to sit on the couch and remove all those nasty hairs down there.

more concern with personal hygiene
Yes, I like to carry around deoderant, perfume, quick rinsing towels (to use down there) so if I even think I smell myself I will hurry in to a near by bathroom and clean myself.

sticking strictly to routines (their own not given tasks)
Nope.. but that could be my borderline thing, I should stick to a routine to give my mind some piece and quite but it just doesn't work.

all special offers ie buy one get one free (even when its something they wouldnt normally buy)
That kinda stopped after I got divorced, I was making 500 euro's a month and had to pay everything with that. So I tought myself not to buy anything I didn't need (except for the cleaning products, but I got most of that from my mom). And now it still feels like a sin if I buy anything I don't really need.

animal lovers
Three cats and if I start to list all the animals that lived here it will turn into a loooooooong post.

have more difficulty disciplining children
Hmm never thought of that, I seem to be more easy going with my daughter but I want to teach her respect, values for nature and to me the most important thing is not to lie. I really hate lying.

become easily hurt when criticised
Yes and I act upon it by defending myself and go into an angry state of mind.

percieving criticism often when its not even there
hmm yes.. damn

difficulty or confusion to adjusting to new routines.
Even for someone like me who has no routine at all it's difficult to adapt to something that happens unexpectedly. Like if someone comes over I have to know upfront and not on that day itself.

generally more highly sexed and sexual than vanillas
Hmm I thought that was a scorpio trade.. haha

Less likely to send food or take faulty goods back
yes

fiesty tempers
Oh hell yes

take more pride in their appearance
Yes lol

prefer less clutter in their household
I would prefer that yes, unfortunatly that's something I will never be able to achieve.

brrr scary..

[Isabella King]

detesting body hair (on themselves)Absolutly, I have a new obsession since 5 months, I use tweezers to get rid of pubic hair. It helps me to relax after a hard day just to sit on the couch and remove all those nasty hairs down there.

Tweeze your pubes, Mysc!!? Ouch!

[mysc]

Tweeze your pubes, Mysc!!? Ouch!

No that's is the weird thing it doesn't hurt at all (alright the lips do hurt on some points like hell even lol) but the rest is a piece of chocolate chip cookie

[Warbaby1943]

Great thread icey but then you always have had a knack for starting good subjects. Also just by reading your list alone tells me why my wife could never be considered a submissive.

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

how lovely.....again, i'm not the only one *dancin'*

Yes there is the obsession with cleaning
Crafty
cannot stand excess body hair
i have a routine, but i can adapt when necessary
fiery temper.......although i have a very long fuse
very hurt by criticism
however, the biggest thing i note is the almost obsessive urge to please those around me, often to the point of neglecting my own needs. this of course creates extremely spoiled friends, children, partners, etc...hehehehe
difficulty disciplining children, check
perfectionist, check


and here's one that i haven't read yet, although in speaking with other submissives, i've found another trait seems to be common.....a history of physical and/or sexual abuse at a young age.....and before anyone blasts me for that, please understand it is MY experience, and i am NOT saying that everyone has experienced it.

thanks for the great thread
Tyd

[gemmy]

how lovely.....again, i'm not the only one *dancin'*

Yes there is the obsession with cleaning
Crafty
cannot stand excess body hair
i have a routine, but i can adapt when necessary
fiery temper.......although i have a very long fuse
very hurt by criticism
however, the biggest thing i note is the almost obsessive urge to please those around me, often to the point of neglecting my own needs. this of course creates extremely spoiled friends, children, partners, etc...hehehehe
difficulty disciplining children, check
perfectionist, check


and here's one that i haven't read yet, although in speaking with other submissives, i've found another trait seems to be common.....a history of physical and/or sexual abuse at a young age.....and before anyone blasts me for that, please understand it is MY experience, and i am NOT saying that everyone has experienced it.

thanks for the great thread
Tyd

lol tyd - i had wondered on the same topic as you suggest and brought it up in a thread you may or may not find interesting to read

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=14680 {What Makes a Submissive}

[Isabella King]

and here's one that i haven't read yet, although in speaking with other submissives, i've found another trait seems to be common.....a history of physical and/or sexual abuse at a young age.....and before anyone blasts me for that, please understand it is MY experience, and i am NOT saying that everyone has experienced it.Tyd

I think I've made my feelings known on this subject - but won't reiterate here.

[~faerie~]

Most of the subs (and mine) also have another thing in common, they are CRAFTY types, mine for example is a mad quilter and will spend hours doing it.
She also finishes other peoples quilts for them, and will happily unpick someone elses mistakes, 'cause it just ain't perfect.

How many others are like this???

i have to admit i am crafty *grins* i make jewelry(beading)
add that to the list i already have *laughs*

[sub-timmi]

Ok let’s see if this works for a male subbie then : -


An almost obsession with cleaning. No

Trying every new cleaning product that comes out (then almost always going back to their regular brands). Sometimes

Detesting body hair (on themselves) Yes

More concern with personal hygiene Yes

Sticking strictly to routines (their own not given tasks) No

All special offers i.e. buy one get one free (even when it’s something they wouldn’t normally buy) Yes

Animal lovers Yes

Have more difficulty disciplining children No

Become easily hurt when criticised Yes

Perceiving criticism often when its not even there Difficult – but I’d guess Yes

Difficulty or confusion to adjusting to new routines. No

Generally more highly sexed and sexual than vanillas Yes [though to generalise]

Less likely to send food or take faulty goods back Yes

Feisty tempers Oh Yes

Take more pride in their appearance Yes

Prefer less clutter in their household Yes

Abused when young – NO

Well, more Yes’s than No’s so I guess that’s me then – a real subbie

[jeanne]

sub-timmi, thanks! We hear so rarely on the forums from our brothers in submission...I'm glad you shared.

[gemmy]

sub-timmi, thanks! We hear so rarely on the forums from our brothers in submission...I'm glad you shared.

I agree with jeanne and extend my thanks as well - it's good hearing from your side of the fence sub_timmi

[icey]

maybe we should add one in especially for the male subs ......reluctant to post regularly lol ...naa just kidding

im not arty to say the least !! my art consist of colouring in books and hand/feet paintings...i kid you not lol

although im very good at matching colour schemes and arranging things exactly in line, furniture ornaments anything really, does that count?

another one and people are really gonna love me for this please dont take offence *takes a deep breath* a fairly high percentage seem to have some form of mental health disorder or problems .

oh and a bad habit of putting things such as smileys and sayings in between * *s lol see above paragraph!

[tina2008]

YAY....I knew I was a "true" submissive.

"an almost obsession with cleaning". As Mastersgem stated, my home isn't disgusting but I tend to have this need to read every piece of junk mail and it tends to pile up). But, when I have "don't want a speck of dust or dirt in my home urge", watch out!!

"trying every new cleaning product that comes out (then almost always going back to their regular brands)" Yep

"detesting body hair (on themselves)". Mostly

"more concern with personal hygiene" Absolutely!!!

"sticking strictly to routines (their own not given tasks)" Recipe for disaster if my routine is thrown off

"all special offers ie buy one get one free (even when its something they wouldnt normally buy) " Nah, too thrifty

"animal lovers" Nope....not even goldfish

"have more difficulty disciplining children" I have none and tend to dote on my nieces, nephews and other people children. I hate when children receive harsh discipline in my presence, unless they're doing something that could potentially cause harm.

"become easily hurt when criticised" It depends. If I'm criticised by someone close to me, it will cause me to examine myself. If I think the criticism isn't warranted, I become hurt or angry

"percieving criticism often when its not even there" Depends on the source of criticism

'difficulty or confusion to adjusting to new routines." Nope

"generally more highly sexed and sexual than vanillas" Absolutely!!!

"less likely to send food or take faulty goods back" Yes

"fiesty tempers" Yes

"take more pride in their appearance" Absolutely

"prefer less clutter in their household" Well, one of my projects today is to get rid of some of this junk mail, so I guess sometimes.

[fiosreach]

Hmm, I believe I'm about to break the mould...

an almost obsession with cleaning.
Nope, really not. I mean, I like things non manky and a room to have visible floor and surfaces, but that's it. No washing the skirting boards on a weekly basis for me!

trying every new cleaning product that comes out (then almost always going back to their regular brands)
No. Cleaning products are boring. I don't care what I use once it works.


detesting body hair (on themselves)
Detest is a little strong. I have quite a lot of body hair which I like to keep under control but it doesn't distress me too much when it temporarily gets the better of me.

more concern with personal hygiene
Than whom? Probably a no though. I don't feel a need to shower daily though of course I wash my teeth and face and hands and shower around every second day.

sticking strictly to routines (their own not given tasks)
I wouldn't say strictly, but I do tend to be a creature of habit, yes,

all special offers ie buy one get one free (even when its something they wouldnt normally buy)
What a waste of money. I only do this for products I would usually buy.

animal lovers
Animal liker, certainly.

have more difficulty disciplining children
None whatsoever. Might be different if I had my own, but when I'm minding other people's I have no problem sending them to the corner or whatever if they deserve it.

become easily hurt when criticised
Yes, big time. Received a very mild telling-off at work which was more of a "you did this thing in the wrong way; here's how you should do it in future" and I almost cried.

percieving criticism often when its not even there
Yes, a little. I've been training myself out of this tendency and giving myself good stern talkings-to when I notice myself doing it.

difficulty or confusion to adjusting to new routines.
Yes, this one applies alright.

generally more highly sexed and sexual than vanillas
Depends on the vanilla! But yeah, more or less true.

less likely to send food or take faulty goods back
No, I'm quite a stickler for that. I have no problem standing up for my rights once I'm certain that I'm in the right.

fiesty tempers
Ah, I'll never forget the time I chased off the guy who was trying to steal my flatmate's bike, roaring "come back you fucker and I'll fucking kill you!" I'm glad he didn't turn around to see that I'm fairly tiny. I'm a bit terrier-like in my belief that I could take anyone in a fight.

take more pride in their appearance
Nope, not really. I don't bother with makeup unless I'm going out and bad hair days don't disturb me much. That said, I prefer to look well tha terrible, I just won't go to great lengths for it.

prefer less clutter in their household
Definitely. I hoard stuff, but it gets hidden away in drawers and presses.

So, seven 'no's, three qualified 'yes'es and five definite 'yes'es. I guess not everyone can tick all the boxes on the list.

[gemmy]

maybe we should add one in especially for the male subs ......reluctant to post regularly lol ...naa just kidding

im not arty to say the least !! my art consist of colouring in books and hand/feet paintings...i kid you not lol

although im very good at matching colour schemes and arranging things exactly in line, furniture ornaments anything really, does that count?

another one and people are really gonna love me for this please dont take offence *takes a deep breath* a fairly high percentage seem to have some form of mental health disorder or problems .

oh and a bad habit of putting things such as smileys and sayings in between * *s lol see above paragraph!

*giggles madly* too funny icey hun - I do that * * all the time but never put it as a sub thing - having thought about it now though, you may be right :P and I can't live without using smilies lmao

the mental health thing...hmmmmm...what issues I had I think stemmed more from the abuse I suffered for so many years but who knows it could very well be part of the wiring that is sub - I don't profess to be unique in any way and I do believe there are common strokes amongst submissives (female anyway) - there has to be, just the same as there are Type "A" personalities in life, there has to be something "Type" wise in us - it's just too bad so many feel they HAVE to be different or argumentative just for the sake of being argumentative or we might actually find out what those Type characteristics are

[icey]

perhaps thats another one? feeling they have to be different or argumentative just for the sake of being argumentative? c'mon how many will admit to that one? i put my hands up to that one at times .. hehe im starting to think this thread could be fun

i have to ask,what is a type A personality? i have a personality disorder (BPD) hence my unusal opinions at times lol
but ive never heard of that,is it a disorder?

[gemmy]

after trying to explain Type A Personality in my own words, I thought it best to use Wikipedia lol

The Type A and Type B personality theory (or Type A and Type B behavior pattern) divides the population of humans into two groups, based on their personality characteristics.

People who fall under Type A exhibit characteristics such as being impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about one's status, highly competitive, hostile and aggressive, and incapable of relaxation.

Type A individuals are often high-achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about the smallest of delays. Although they may exhibit some or all of these characteristics, it does not mean that people with the Type A personality are incapable of showing love, affection or other types of non-pessimistic behavior. Many are also capable of "coaching" some of these behavior attributes with proper treatment and medication. Those who do not seek treatment have been described as stress junkies, and often display some of the following characteristics:

An intrinsic insecurity or insufficient level of self-esteem, which is considered by some to be the root cause of the syndrome. This is believed to be covert and therefore less observable.

Time urgency and impatience, which causes irritation and exasperation.
Free floating hostility, which can be triggered even over little incidents.

The Type B personality, in contrast, is patient, relaxed, and easy-going. They are also more creative and imaginative, inclined to self-analyze and evasive of stressful situations, and bad at coping when found therein.

There is also a Type AB or Type X mixed profile for people who cannot be clearly categorized and have a combination of both types of personality.

[butterflySlave4u]

If I were going to be hostile, I'd have said something like "shut up, your opinion is stupid and you are stupid" and, unless someone edited it when I wasn't looking, I didn't say that. All I did there was answer the question "Is it safe to say that submissives let people take advantage of them?" to the best of my knowledge - I don't, you might, the rest of you might, and it may even be a side-effect of being female or a female submissive, all I can say for sure is that I don't. If anybody comes in here and tries to make a sweeping statement, whether they're agreeing or disagreeing with you, they're going to be wrong solely because that's not possible to know for sure. And if you're going to try to make a snide little insult, at least have the guts to name names. There's nothing more irritating than someone throwing in an insult without actually directing it at you, it means that the moderators will refuse to do anything.

Boy, you just spread sunshine where ever you go, don't you?? Somebody needs some time in the stocks, methinks!

[icey]

thankyou mastersgem,maybe they should start a new classification especially for me cos i fit all of them and more, maybe type A/Z lol to cover the whole spectrum!

heres another few

crying easily at sad movies
low boredom threshold
wants everything done yesterday
nothing you do ever feels quite good enough
dislikes sci-fi and action movies (that could be just me lol)

[Warbaby1943]

crying easily at sad movies
dislikes sci-fi and action movies (that could be just me lol)

This describes my wife but she in NOT a submissive, believe me. LOL

[icey]

could be a girly thing lol

[gemmy]

crying easily at sad movies - yup yup
low boredom threshold - (when bored become restless....very, very dangerous lol)
wants everything done yesterday- (and something wrong with that? hehe)
nothing you do ever feels quite good enough - (sucks don't it!)
dislikes sci-fi and action movies (that could be just me lol)<--and me hehe, I've still never see Star Wars (nor ever want to), it amazes some people lol

[newslave]

the mental health thing...hmmmmm...what issues I had I think stemmed more from the abuse I suffered for so many years but who knows it could very well be part of the wiring that is sub - I don't profess to be unique in any way and I do believe there are common strokes amongst submissives (female anyway) - there has to be, just the same as there are Type "A" personalities in life, there has to be something "Type" wise in us - it's just too bad so many feel they HAVE to be different or argumentative just for the sake of being argumentative or we might actually find out what those Type characteristics are

I'm in the same boat as mgem...though in a single event, not throughout the years. But I always wonder if it would be any different. I guess I'll never know for sure.

As for the rest...
crying easily at sad movies - and sappy commercials and Hallmark cards and...you get the idea.
low boredom threshold - Can I just say that class is almost hell for me every single day? I have a rucksack full of activities to keep me entertained and fortunately, was an only child that learned such activities early in life.
wants everything done yesterday - hehe...add that with senioritis in the month before I graduate and...ummm...its a miracle that I even bother with homework.
nothing you do ever feels quite good enough - I always thought this was my "only child" symptom, but now I know!
dislikes sci-fi and action movies (that could be just me lol) - I may have to disagree. I love the Xmen flicks, Italian Job, Casino Royale, etc. Sci fi, well, I like that less...

[gemmy]

dislikes sci-fi and action movies (that could be just me lol) - I may have to disagree. I love the Xmen flicks, Italian Job, Casino Royale, etc. Sci fi, well, I like that less...

I have to retract part of my answer haha - when I said I didn't like action films, I meant like Rambo, the never ending series or Die Hard and those kinds - I LOVED "The Italian Job"!!! and Xmen too hehe :P I mostly love Van Helsing type shows - Covenant and Cult like movies - so so hot!! *drools a lil* hehe

[icey]

lol^ ive never been able to see or even understand what the plots in those films are all about ok some of the guys are cute but all the strutting around 'dont f**k with me buddy' stuff....thats so not my thing
im also very literal so if something doesnt fit with reality im totally lost.

think i'll stick with my disney films...*skips off in rags singing to the birds lol*

insanity ^... is that a subbie trait too or just me hehe

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

oh i am so PISSED right now.......spend thirty minutes typing out a heart felt post and then when you hit the button, get that "you are not authorized, refresh page" thingy (might tie into that fiery temper thing)

anyway
cries easily at sad movies....almost embarrassingly so
low boredom threshhold....there are currently studies being done because this seems to be why i'm always getting into things i probably shouldn't...lolol
wants things done yesterday....yes, i WANT them done yesterday....but i am a HORRIBLE procrastinator and it's usually the day it HAS to be done before i accomplish it
feels like nothing i do is ever good enough....very much so, and possibly something to support icey's theory on mental disorders (more on that later). i also wonder if (for those of us who have been abused) hearing "you'll never amount to anything", "no one else will ever want you", etc set a precedence for these feelings.
dislikes sci-fi and action movies....for those of you out there that are buffs, please pardon what i'm about to say because it is just MY opinion. Have any of you guys watched the Sci-Fi channel lately???? OMG!! i have never seen a more stupid movie in my LIFE!! Some action movies are ok......but i have seen EVERY animated movie ever released *borrows some of icey's rags and skips down the golden path into the sunset looking for her*

i have thought long and hard on introducing this next topic, because it is going to be very controversial and i don't want to get bashed for it, but.....why not. Has anyone besides me every been told they have an "addictive personality"? i am not referring to just drugs or alcohol, although those apply as well. i was told at one point in my life that anything that i found pleasureable, or would help me *escape* from reality was potentially dangerous for me because i could lose my perspective very easily. This perhaps may be to the lack of self-discipline that was briefly mentioned in another post. It may also go hand in hand with icey's theory, and is often a symptom or a direct result of past abuse. It has taken me many years and alot of hard work to deal with this aspect of myself and it continues on a daily basis. i was just wondering if it's an isolated occurence, or if anyone else has had the same difficulties.

For those of you who haven't, i'm very glad for you. i am hoping in a big way that there are not alot of flaming comments or insults because of these thoughts. i have heard more than enough by people who do not understand the nature of the problem that it is personal weakness, lack of self-discipline, something you can fix all by yourself, etc. To say that it requires ALOT of work to manage it is an understatement. But i do look forward to other's opinions.

[sidhewolf]

an almost obsession with cleaning./At times. Used to be Anal about it, but OP and Children cured me of that lol

trying every new cleaning product that comes out (then almost always going back to their regular brands)/Well not "every" but <Nods>

detesting body hair (on themselves)/Yes, and on OP too lol

more concern with personal hygiene/Absolutely!

sticking strictly to routines (their own not given tasks)/Yes

all special offers ie buy one get one free (even when its something they wouldnt normally buy)/Nope not this one.

animal lovers/Yessss...though not in an intimate sense hehehehe.

have more difficulty disciplining children/Yes....but I've worked past that <G>. Even though I still can barely deal with punishing one.

become easily hurt when criticised/Sometimes. If the critisizm is warranted, I can appreciate it. If it's just for meaness or pettiness or manipulation, I don't do well with it.

percieving criticism often when its not even there/Not really. Though I think my toughest critic is myself.

difficulty or confusion to adjusting to new routines./Yes

generally more highly sexed and sexual than vanillas/Yes

less likely to send food or take faulty goods back/Not this one *usually* <g)

fiesty tempers/Once I get angry Yes. But *usually* takes a lot to get me angry.

take more pride in their appearance/Yes, *usually*.

prefer less clutter in their household/Yes...but We still have it lol.

[icey]

tip ty..when you first login open the whos online option in another window and leave it running,it refeshes the page constantly and shouldnt log you out if theres a tech problem and you do get logged out as soon as the message comes up hit the back button on your browser then highlight and copy your text then when you log back in just re-post...ok techie lesson over lol.

yes i have an addictive personality which is different to OCD, and as you rightly said ty its not always drugs and drink but very often it can be gambling,shopping,cleaning anything really ( its a disorder not another way of saying your a drug addict etc) including sex,hence my high sex drive lol.
mine is co-morbid with the personality disorder i have (BPD) APD more often than not is co-existant with other disorders.

i s/harm too which is also addictive surpisingly which people are not always aware of it's particularly addictive for those who are 'cutters' like myself,although im doing well in that area for a while touchwood.

a high percentage of those with these type of disorders are submissive in nature although the BPD and the AP can also at times rear its ugly head and conversley have the opposite effect causing the most submissive of people to become intensley aggresive as these things can spiral vey quickly out of control mainly from fustration and confusion for a very brief period of time...which is perhaps why some subs (im NOT saying all) admit to being 'feisty' stubborn and vey strong willed on occasions.

im not saying this is true for everyone,not by a long shot and whether it is just coincidence i dont know but it certainly fits me.



here is a link which is quite informative for anyone interested,its a bpd link because these are where all info on personality types are generally clustered together and many of the symptons/criteria are similar finding anything re addictive personalitys in its own right is very difficult other than links for alcohol and drug addictions.

http://www.jwoodphd.com/borderline_p...order.htm#dibr

(scroll down a little)


if im not supposed to post it then im sorry for beaking any rules *bends over to recieve spanking*

am totally changing thread now sorry!

[gemmy]

I can sometimes too be an addictive personality especially when finding something new that interests me, then I'm consumed with it to distraction of everything else going on around me.

I used to be a highly co-dependant person and couldn't be without another in my life, ever! Now, I'm happy to say it's been a year and a half that I've been on my own without having to desperately cling to another and I'm finding it quite liberating and highly enjoyable hehe (I don't know if having my daughter counts as being co-dependent or not but I don't think so )

I am a smoker, not heavily (4 or 5 a day) but still quite addicted but that I don't think is anything to do with being sub, just a terrible habit lol

[icey]

i do the same thing,something new and it takes my attention 24/7 until eventually the novelty wears off, fo most things anyway some never change lol

i came across some quiz (another addiction )when i was surfing around trying to find something relevant to addictive personalitys, it gave me a score of 189 even i was shocked,you only need to have a score of 100 to be highly addictive lol

http://www.lapage.com/arr/phelps.htm