Quote Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
I seem to be stuck in a cycle of deciding its time i found a real life Dom, finding someone with potential and then freaking out. Every so often i decide BDSM isn't for me and promise myself i'll just leave it as something to daydream about. However i end up feeling pretty low that i've let opportunities go and that i may live life without ever submitting to anyone. Currently i'm on the lookout for a Dom after a few months break but i'm starting to wonder whether it really is for me if i have such strong reoccurring doubts. Maybe i just haven't found the right Dom with the ability to put me at ease. I really don't know anymore......
Amethyst, hun, you've only just begun to look and I'm sure there is the right fit for you out there somewhere but you'll maybe not see him if you aren't solid within yourself in what you do and do not want. You cannot leave it all up to the Dominant to 'fix' everything, it's unfair to ask.

Although a good Dom enjoys that part of taking on a new submissive, he won't magically make all your problems or doubts disappear and you may find you've chosen poorly simply because you, yourself don't know what you want.

I do relate to being disenchanted with the whole deal sometimes as I often find myself there as well and darling, I've been looking for two years! lol

In that timespace though, I've talked to So many different people, Doms, subs and vanillas alike and have come to this great place within myself with learning who I am and what it is that I want, like, dislike and the rest - it's a worthwhile process and I believe necessary steps in any journey but more so in this kind of journey.

Try to talk with as many people as possible and relief some of the pressure on yourself to 'have' someone, you may be pleasantly surprised by who you see

Good luck