Suggestions?

[GS42]

hybridmoment,


I hope to add something to this thread because I have been in a similar situation with a submissive girlfriend. It differs from what you describe in the sense that I introduced her to her submissive side, and not vice-versa as you write here. The result, however, was that she got more and more interested and requested 'slave training' as you state it.

I was really drawn to this idea and said so, but also knew I was not yet capable of shaping someone safely in that way. For 'training' I felt like I needed to be in complete and full control and have good insight in what actions provoke which responses in her, and I was sure I could not do that (yet).

I am now a good year further and confident that I have learned alot about the effects of training and conditioning. This did not happen by itself and I think here lies the task for you: Show your boyfriend he does not have to jump in the deep end (which would be dangerous for both of you), and does not have to jump alone.

First of all, find out, as just_annie eloquently said, what he really wants out of the relationship and whether this meets your need to be controlled. If he cannot be what you want, you just can't be trained by him.

If both he and you think he can be, I would not advise you putting the ball passivly in his court by kneeling. This does not help him guide or train you, it just gives an opportunity he might not be able to handle (yet). If I were in your shoes, I would write down your idea of slave-training and talk it over with him. What are the things you want to be trained in? What would be your goals? (If I might suggest, positions are always a good start for training because they require extensive interaction between dom and sub, are (usually) not very emotionally laden and can give nice progress in a weeks' time.)

So, to sum it up, try to find out whether he can and wants to be the dom you need, and if so, work out a training schedule together. If he needs help domming, I'd suggest either a book about dog-training (no offence intended, they really offer good insight) or a trip to the forums.

A last warning to you: make sure that nowhere in the training your confidence or emotions are being undermined; that is never a part of any training.


Good luck and please keep us posted.


PS: The 'confused' thread might offer some insight also.