Tom,

What, an IT guy that is disliked? Surely not! *sarcasam* I understand. Recent nationwide polls indicate that my occupation is disliked more than the IRS!

I have always been naturally dominant in the workplace--My kndergarden teacher told my mother when I was 5 that I was a natural leader. As a child, I had a very low self-esteem and zero confidence. As a young adult I partied my ass off (and made a lot of mistakes!). I began to pour myself into what ever I was doing, mainly to prove to myself that I could do anything well, but also for everyone else's approval. My military service taught me a lot about finding direction for myself. My first section chief at my first permanent duty station was a real dick. Nothing I ever did was good enough and he was always on my ass. I hated him--at first. But when my wife and I needed personal help, he went above and beyond what was required to help us. I began to respect him, and realized that our military section was the best in the unit. I realized that he really knew his shit and began to better understand why he operated the way that he did--pushing people to do better ALL the time.

I am now a supervisor in a government security agency--I am not allowed to represent the Agency in settings unrelated to my official duties so I can't tell you exactly what it is that I do, but it is possible that I may see you at an airport sometime! I am very good at what I do, and I push my employees to become the same. I was a Dom at work a long time before I was a Dom at home (but that's a story for another thread). I try to model myself after my old section chief. Most people also hate me, initially, but over time (a long time) they begin to realize that I take my job very seriously and I am only pushing them to live up to the potential that they all posess and they eventually learn to respect who I am, and that I, too, will always be there to help them whenever needed.

My point is that you need to KNOW that you are good at what you do (at work and in your own time). It's normal for people to feel threatened by you, but if you are ever able to help them--either personally or professionally--they will eventually gain a newfound respect for you.

And by the way, alcohol does fix most problems, but for whatever alcohol doesn't fix, I'll join you in a toast with a glass of milk!