As GS42 says, it may not help any unless you know who you can listen to & trust.

There's nothing wrong with just starting a thread as you've done & posting what's going on for you- as long as you don't mind people making comments....

My suggestion would be to look very carefully around this or similar forums & find a Dom who's willing to listen- one that you can trust. Do some research.

You may even find someone willing to mentor you until you find Mr. Right, if you're genuine enough.

You can also learn a whole lot by just reading the posts & threads.