Among the Missing - Chapter 9

[deigja]

*blushes heavily* Venom, this girl never puts out a whip unless she wants it to be used on her. Even teasing him with it is only a means of provoking the oposite...

but honestly.. most writers tend to get a little careless once they have established a character. I still love this story, the whole lot of it (I´m easy to fascinate but it´s not easy too keep me reading on. If I don´t like a development i just close the book and never have a look again.. and will always remember that I disliked it, even if I forget the reason for the dislike) I only think that in comparison of the first few chapters this chapter is missing a bit.. I´ll see when Rubberwolf generously grants us the next bite of his story next week...if perhaps the two chapters together form then a unit that can match the first chapters..


Rubberwolf you didn´t make it easy for yourself.. you have pushed my expectations pretty far ;-)

[Venom]

*Taking the whip from deigja and hunting Rubberwolf with it until he - RW- has found back to his old writing form.*

Of course you're right, deiga. Writing a story means to wrestle with every single sentence, and sometimes...well, you loose. I often come to a point in my own narrations (WARNING: self-marketing!) where I just don't get my act together. Every formulation seems to be weak and wrong, and it takes a long time to make it finally fit. It especially happens when trying to connect two very good scenes; between them both author and reader easily fall into a hole.

*blushes heavily* Venom, this girl never puts out a whip unless she wants it to be used on her. Even teasing him with it is only a means of provoking the oposite...

Like Nietzsche said: "Wenn Du zum Weibe gehst, vergiß die Peitsche nicht!"