Quote Originally Posted by Dongthong2005
this (revoking the safe word) happened a couple of times. I always obeyed it, but displayed frustration (verbally and with body language). However, she feels horrible if she doesn't satisfy me sexually, and thus revokes the safe word.
This is a big problem for me. A sub should NEVER be made to feel guilty or humiliated for using a safeword. It sounds like she wanted to end or slow down the scene, but took it back because you guilt-tripped her into doing so. As the dom, you may be in control and administering the "punishments," but your #1 job is looking out for and protecting this cherished person who completely gave her trust and control to you; it is your duty to live up to that expectation, and if you violate that trust, you've completely failed her.

If you can't conrol yourself enough in a D/s scene to prevent it from escalating into abuse, then you should not participate in a scene until you can figure out how to keep it under control. There are more aspects to being a dom than getting some animalistic thrill out of outright abuse and violence, and trying to cover it up by saying it is within a D/s relationship is very, very wrong. Especially when you are taking advantage of the vulnerability of someone who has suffered abuse in the past. Very wrong, indeed.
-Phantome