I think Phantome is being too hard on Dongthong. Dongthong and wife posted a problem that they're *both* aware of and trying to solve. The problem calls for advice on two-party behavior modification, not simply judging DT totally responsible because he's the top.

When DT says he displays frustration when she uses her safeword, I took "frustration" to mean literally frustration, sexual or otherwise. However, I know sometimes people use "frustration" as a politer way of referring to anger. I think DT would deserve Phantome's lecture if he's been displaying anger towards his sub when she has to safe out, but that doesn't sound to me like what's been happening. If his wife feels guilty for ending a scene before he's satisfied, that may be something that comes from within, rather than something he's "guilt-tripped" her into. In short, I think the couple ought to work out the problems together, and not put all the blame on DT simply because he tops.