Horatio,

I agree with Mad and Dean. They went into more detail, technically and viscerally. Generally, my feedback deals with the story itself.

You need a hook at the beginning. The first paragraph can be tightened up by half.

The description of Baines is a great character study. Use it to visualize the character and keep it handy. All of it doesn't have to be stated in one place in it's entirety.

The plot start begins at the right place. Keep in mind the theme all of us have stated, streamline the sentences and reduce repetition. Something to keep in mind for the next piece is to just write your story without editing along the way. You can beef it up with descriptions, etc during editing.

The description of McGyver taking off in his Cessna, as it is written, boggles me. What is the purpose of this paragraph? His description in the last two lines of that paragraph are ok.

Stephanie's introduction appears to be late in the story, but, you still can make it work. Put her characterization near the first mention of Baines' sighting of her. This part is irrelevant here, but it could be later on in the story. "She never cooked for herself and ate in restaurants every night."

Then Tony and his Cessna show up again. Where did they land? Is it the same place where the story McGyver and Stephanie takes place?

The delivery of Stephanie could use some descriptions, specifically of the house, the woman, etc. However, the surprise killing was great. NOW you got my attention.

Finally, I see a connection between Tony and Baines. Hmmm... I wonder if that hint could have appeared earlier in the story. Great back story on Tony and the connection with Baines. Perhaps a little more feel of this characterization of Baines could be inserted at the beginning.

The story got my interest by the middle. This is a good story and the beginning should give a taste or at least match the pace of the rest of it. I'm going to stop here for now. Like Mad I don't want to overwhelm you.