Hello Tojo:

I'm new here as you know and I'm not any kind of expert on D/s, but I'm surprised that the obvious questions have not been asked of new subs.

For instance:

  • What do you expect from a dom? It is a power exchange.
  • Do you know what a hard and a soft limit is? Do you know what to do in case you are asked to do something that is a hard limit?
  • If you currently have a dom, do you feel there is a safety net when he/she asks you to do something that pushes your limits?
  • Do you feel comfortable enough to ask these questions without fear of being judged?


If you don't know the answers to the above questions, then it should be food for thought. Doms don't have a handbook and neither do subbies, but resources are available. When in doubt 'ask.'