Quote Originally Posted by Silke

It sounds like you had a wonderful time even though the session was somewhat ended before you got your money's worth of time.

But it looks like your Mistress took it well and at least tried to make you feel good about it. Still you say that you think you couldn't go through something like this again...why's that? If I'm being too curious here just let me know, I could certainly understand.

Silke
Silke,

You can ask me anything any time because I'm so glad I found this site and I have the luxury of remaining anonymous.

Now to try to answer your question. I partially answered it in my reply to Tojo. I have a wife of 40 years whom I have never cheated on until yesterday. As great as she, is she is not into BDSM at all. She used to try some of it just to please me but that has dropped off over the years. Plus without enthusiasm it is not much to brag about. Still I love her very much and would never want to jeopardize my marriage. I rationalized in my mind that even if she found out about this session I could make her understand my need for it because of all the time I tried to convince her to try some of it. Anyway that is one reason.

Another reason is the embarrassment I felt. I mean I always thought I could control myself fairly well but here I was bent over this beautiful young lady's knee, she was spanking my ass, and that made me cum. That shocked the hell out of me. I really didn't want it to happen. I didn't really want to cum at any point during the session. Justification in my mind was if I didn't cum, I wasn't really cheating. I don't believe I could have ever explained that part away to my wife. It happened, it's over, and now I have to move on.

As Tojo pointed out, once orgasm occurs (in a male) the mood is over but that was only part of the reason I wanted the session to end early. Above are the more impelling reasons.

Another reason is I would love to schedule another session immediately but I would want the same lady. As professional and compassionate as she was, I would feel very self conscious facing her again.

It was a long drive home and once I got onto highway where I would have been had I actually gone to where my wife thought I was, I immediately called her. Why did I wait until I got to familiar highway - because I feared an auto accident happening on a road I wouldn't normally be on. How would I have explained that? See all these thoughts were going through my head and I'm not sure I could handle the guilt feeling ever again; nor am I sure I would want to. I wanted it, I got it, I loved it, I felt guilty about it, and now I may have to settle for memories of it just to ease my conscience and nerves.

Even now, as I remember yesterday's events, erotic feelings are trying to emerge. Can I suppress these desires? We shall see if my desires once again get the better of me and I return to the beautiful mistress. It only took me 63 years to go the first time. Wish me luck!!!

Hope I answered your question.