Dear Warbaby,

I'm so glad that you feel comfortabe enough here to post something so intimate here. Your openness is amazing and I thank you so much for sharing.

It's sad to see you so torn between your desires to stay faithful to your wife and following your sexual needs. I can only begin to understand how hard it must be if your loved one doesn't share something that obviously is very important for you. It's hard in any sense, really, but I've found that the sexual desires are among the hardest to deny oneself. And you managed to do that for such a long time which tells me that you care about your wife and marriage tremendously.

I rationalized in my mind that even if she found out about this session I could make her understand my need for it because of all the time I tried to convince her to try some of it.
After what you've said before I'm sure that you indeed could make her understand. Oh my, even reading your post almost made me cry...it's so full of emotions, of love and guilt. How could anyone NOT understand?

I really wish you could share this with your wife instead of feeling guilty, but I understand if that's something you don't feel like you can do. Just for your own peace of mind, though, I hope that you'll find a way to accept your desires and everything that happened during the session. Make it something beautiful to remember, to cherish instead of tormenting yourself with guilt. It's happened anyway, so why not give it a special place in your heart? Just a thought...

About the embarrassment of getting carried away within the session. Oh boy, can I understand that! I'd be there, too...but then again, I get embarrassed at pretty much everything. But doesn't it only show how much you enjoyed yourself? And isn't that a compliment for the Mistress? Those would be the thoughts that made me feel good about myself again in that regard. I don't even think you'd have broken off the session if it hadn't been for your guilty conscience about somehow cheating your wife more when you have an orgasm.

From a D/s perspective I'd reason that it was a full success...the dynamic between you and your Mistress was strong enough to override your hesitation, no matter how good your orgasm control usually is. Even if you never work up the courage to do this again, you certainly seem to have found that reality holds up to your fantasies. And I have to say I envy you for that, it's something I've yet to find out in real life.

I wish you all the best whichever way you choose for the future and please stay in touch. As you've already found, this is a very friendly place to share experiences and it's helped me a lot to come to terms with my submissive feelings. We all have an open ear if you want to talk.

Silke