Tojo,

You sound so much like I feel. I appreciate you putting in writing. It is so difficult to go behind your loved one's back when you are basically a very honest person.

Once before I set up a session with a mistress but chickened out at the last moment. This time I debated long and hard before I made that phone call to set up an appointment. Even after the initial contact I still had 7 days to chicken out. I'm glad I didn't but it did teach me a little more about myself in that I did get the feelings and ideas that I would have loved to be the one administering the punishment to that lovely lady. I may even be more confused now than before but I think I'd still prefer to be on the receiving end.

Thanks for your reply, it was great.