Thank you for being so supportive, I think I will keep posting =)

Oh and I did not mean to ignore the comment about abuse, please forgive me. I had a lot of things going through my mind then and I forgot it. I'm not sure what to say to that, I mean I still don't consider it abuse if I want it. And I want to again make it a point that I want and NEED to be dominated and controlled like this. I know he loves me very much and would never want to seriously hurt me physically or emotionally. I'm not trying to sugarcoat anything either, I will admit that he does have anger problems (which I really don't blame him for considering his past) and VERY RARELY he will act towards me out of anger, for which he apologizes later. But I think even normal relationships are like that.

I'm also kind of confused by your comments, you said a relationship that's not ideal? To me this is the best I could ask for. I guess I didn't make that clear enough before, but I absolutely love my relationship with him. I would even go as far as to say that fate brought us together.