Tojo -

Sorry if I start making no sense - it's pretty late and I'm tired, no bed time was set up tonight.

The cutting. I would do it out of depression and the fact that it felt good. It feels good when he does it to me. I don't mind if he cuts me (I talked to him about not doing it on my arms - he agreed), the part I'm kind of iffy about is the blood drinking. The thing about the blood... I do sort of like it, but I came from a very religious background, and if my mother was still alive she would have deemed it satanic. I know my other activities with him aren't exactly "moral" either, but out of everything we do together the blood seems to be the most... I don't even know the word. If I brought this up to him as a huge issue he might reconsider doing it, yes. But I don't want to deny him anything when he gets those urges.

When I said it had gotten out of hand before, I just meant sometimes he had gone a little too far, and he did apologize later like I said. I didn't say he regularly takes it too far, but he has in the past and we've talked about it afterwards to prevent it in the future.

And when I said normal relationships are like that with regards to taking your anger out on someone... I still agree with that. Are you saying husbands and wives never yell at each other? No names have ever been called? In regards to physical, wouldn't you agree that some men have maybe accidentally done something they didn't mean to? One of my online friends, who has probably the most "normal" cute relationship I can think of, had something like that happen, just a minor thing one time. I'm just saying it happens, maybe not for everyone though.

Quote Originally Posted by Tojo
Now if I may throw in my personal opinion here(!) I think you're very young to be involved in something so heavy. I was 18 myself once, back in the time of the dinosaurs- I thought I knew it all.

There's a whole world out there.
Hehe. You used to be young?
Anyway, I do agree that it's a lot for this age. But I still think his timing was perfect in my life. He really saved me. The emotional abuse I suffered from my aunt was a hundred times worse than anything he's ever done to me.

I know it's extreme and it's not normal, but it's what works for me. And I am careful. Once again, thanks for caring