Hiya Mina and welcome to the forums.

I've been reading this thread and your posts for a while now and really didn't know how to respond to it...so I just kept my mouth shut for a while. *grins* Kind of a natural reaction for me when something really gets to me.

I'm still pretty new to the BDSM world myself and a lot of the more serious stuff out there just makes me gasp. I've talked to a friend about the concept of drinking blood as a form of intense play and I think I get the idea of what's the appeal *gulps*, but as others have said before...to me this would have to be something that both partners consent to. Consent is just the basis of what BDSM means to me and what makes it work for me. I choose to give over my control, my power to someone I love and trust willingly and if he'd ever abuse this trust I place with him, I'd be gone.

Well, that's what my reason says anyway - and here's where it gets tricky. I've found that as soon as I submit to someone he means the world to me, I want to please him, get devastated when I think I disappoint him, I might even be afraid of losing what I have because I say no or would probably consent to something that hasn't been negotiated before, just because he brings it up in the heat of passion. So, my emotional side sings a different tune and I'm glad that I've found someone to submit to who keeps an eye on that, thinks FOR me when I can't.

It's easy to get lost in the emotional side (and it's wonderful!) and I really hope that your partner keeps an eye out for you, too. I'm not the advice kind of person with matters that I understand so little, so I'll spare you any ramblings *grins*. I hope that you find the friendship and openness you are looking for here and know this is a place where you can always find a few open ears, no matter what's on your mind. I know that talking with others living the lifestyle has helped me tremendously and has been a wake up call more than once. Oh....and it's also FUN to be here!

Again, welcome, Mina...hope to hear more from you!

Silke