M is for Masochism

[MissMasochist]

I believe myself to be a true physical masochist. I've been addicted to physical pain since my early teens, at times relying on the endorphin rush like a drug. I've experimented with scratching, biting, burning, cutting, whipping, spanking, needles etc and I get pleasure out of it all. Some of this has been experienced through "self harm", and some times I was fortunate enough to have it administered by others.

I am probably not as much an emotional masochist as I am a physical one, but somehow I really appreciate suffering mentally for someone I love.
I can enjoy being emotionally toyed with, but I'm not a very strong person in that department, so again it has to be with someone I know, love and trust.

I understand there are many Doms that dont like administering physical pain as a form of punishment to their subs. I am completely with them on this, because as a masochist, if I knew I was going to get physically punished (ie:rewarded) every time I did something wrong, it would just reinforce my bad behaviour.

I think an emotional/mental punishment (for myself anyway) is far harder to deal with and greater lessons can be learned from them.

The feeling humiliation brings for me in private is euphoric. Sometimes I feel as though I could cum from being humiliated alone. I have no idea why this is. Public humiliation on the other hand has the reverse effect on me. I cannot handle public humiliation - I die on the spot.

For me Love and Pain seem to run parallel alongside each other. Where I find love, there is pain, where I find pain there is often love. The line between them in so very thin and fragile.

There we go, my speech over ^_^

[icey]

i dont really and never have considered myself a masochist ...i sometimes use the term in a joke or if it makes it easier to say something in a post ...but i think there are too many definitions of the word and its a very grey area and doesnt really apply to bdsm anyway nor does sadist its again just a term/umbrella we use as with many others.

i disagree with this statement No one will come up and say, 'I want you to hurt me.'" because i have done this on quite a few occasions and for various reasons, not with the sole intention for getting a high but because it turns me on plain and simple, just like someone saying i want you to give me a bj they're not looking for a high just pleasure.
ive also done it if ive been stressed or if ive caught it early enough and want to s/harm its a form of release and many other things, nothing to do with pain or getting a high of any kind.



and unlike others have said about not liking pain such as stubbing your toes etc even though it feels horrible and i dont like it in a weird way i do! same with being ill,im not a hypocondriach and dont like being fussed over when im ill or hurt in fact i hate that so its nothing to do with that either, i really cant say what it is i just dont know, maybe i feel i need 'punishment' or i 'deserve' it but i dont get any gratification from it really.
as for humiliation other than in play i dont like it at all!

if any of thats a form of masochism then i guess it would make me a masochist so to speak but i still cant really apply it to me.

but all the rambling aside,to answer Wolfscouts question..no i dont think it does really matter and why would it?