Quote Originally Posted by Mistress M

  • What do you expect from a dom? It is a power exchange.
  • Do you know what a hard and a soft limit is? Do you know what to do in case you are asked to do something that is a hard limit?
  • If you currently have a dom, do you feel there is a safety net when he/she asks you to do something that pushes your limits?
  • Do you feel comfortable enough to ask these questions without fear of being judged?
These are interesting questions. I'm not a 24/7 sub and never could be (just doesn't float my boat, nor does it interest my husband), so my answers would probably be very different from those who are.

When we're in a scene, I expect him to control me, but not tell me to do something he knows that I won't enjoy or be comfortable doing. He knows my limits; I've made sure of that. And we have our safeword, which he respects.

Honestly, I think the one problem we have is that, right now, he's having trouble keeping up with me. We're in our late 30s/early 40s and he's starting to slow down some while I'm definitely more interested than ever. I'm trying to guide him some, which I think is a perfectly legitimate thing for a good sub to do, not to mention a good partner. He loses momentum, creativity, and aggression after he has an orgasm, which frustrates me to no end. There are times when I'd be happy to "play" all day, so I'm trying to get ideas for him of what he can do in his "down times", for lack of a better term.