Hi Putnamcocpl,

It's great that you're doing the research and asking for advice. If you can share your findings, what turns you on, and get her to do the same, even better. Your concern is valid.

Communication is a key to success. What did she like? What didn't she? What would she want to try again?
And the same for you.

Since is it about your mutual fun, you may even want to discuss how you feel about the roles you took on. Does she have any desire to "top" you? Do you want to be "topped"?

In my signature is one of those checklists modified for real life versus fantasy play. It really helped Nat (my sub) and I when we were starting out. Perhaps it will give you some ideas for discussion and play.

To your success,

Ruby