I think that your ah-ha moment about having to work your way up to 'level 5' is a good one and one that is too often ignored by new Dom/mes. Just because you have a sub to spank or tie up, does not automatically confer on you mastery.

I believe that you don’t need to focus entirely on leadership. Instead, turn your attention to motivation. Oz is quite right that her transition will be more challenging. You can help her by providing the stick and carrot to keep her on the path and to make sure that the journey is rewarding for both of you.

Here are few things to bear in mind:

Motivating your sub starts with motivating yourself. You need to reflect on what you want. Somewhere I read that she came to you with the idea of D/s—have you sat down and figured out what all of it means to you? Do so. Once you know yourself, you can then move forward with greater confidence.

Always work to align her needs with your needs. She wants to submit, that much is clear from the other thread. Now you need to make sure that you stay the one she wants to have dominate her. To do that, you need to ensure that pleasuring you becomes her pleasure.

The key to supporting the motivation of your sub is understanding what motivates her. This is where communication is essential—I generally use reading my girl’s journal to find out why she seeks submission. Also, having her fill out a hard limit questionaire will give you more ideas about her turn on/offs. (An example can be found here) Use that knowledge to reward her in a way that leverages further submission from her. Make sure that punishments serve the same function--realize that spanking a masochist would not make a good sanction!

Recognize that supporting her journey of submission is a process, not a task. You can assign tasks to help her with aspects (obedience, for example) but it is the work of months (even years) to bind her heart and soul. Conversely, just because she finds one particular thing a challenge, doesn't mean that you should throw the baby out with the bath water. Find out what the blockage is and work on getting through--this is a journey of many, many steps.

Support her submission by being explicit and consistent. Clear rules and consistent follow through are essential. Don’t think you can rely on good intentions to carry you two along. She can't read your mind and she needs your guidance.

This forum is great because it gives us a chance to ask questions but I also think that it is vital that those on Top have more than just this. We all need someone with experience to discuss what is happening. I recommend finding Dom/mes you respect to mentor you. Asking for help, doesn't make you weak. In fact, it will make you (and your relationship) stronger.

Trust me, the Covey epiphany won’t be the last one you’ll have.