Loyalty to self or Sir's wishes?

[ragdoll]

The situation is that before we entered our relationship I was considering not seeing men at all, either vanilla or in the scene, He being the exception to that rule, so I think he sees women as threatening to his hold over me.
Also, it's the idea of me being Dominant at all which is a turn off, I believe. I love him, and we are making life plans... but I don't know if this sacrifice is too much.
We tried me seeing a woman, even vanilla, and he was too possessive.

[Tojo]

Perhaps the real issue is your sexuality ragdoll- I don't see that has anything to do with partners, prospective or current.

I'll ask you the same question I asked someone else last week- what's the one most important thing to you & you alone?

(A rhetorical question of course)

Just for the record, IMO if he really cares for you....well you know.....

[Polaris]

Sometimes it's not so much about really caring, but about being compatible don't you think? I know one or two wonderful passed me by, simply because one or two things that were central either to their or my own personality wouldn't click. I know that they genuinely cared about me, as I genuinely cared about them -- we were just poor as partners and lovers.

It is, at least in my eyes, a very difficult decision at times to 'sacrifice' a part of yourself in order to be with somebody you love. In my experience, it doesn't work. You cannot play pretend forever, and sooner or later needs have a tendency to start nagging their way to the surface. I believe that we all have a right to freely express ourselves -- this doesn't necessarily mean to act on something, but there should be an option to just be what we are, especially in the presence of those who love us or are at least supposed to so.

I think the question here is -- what is more important? Do you think you can be happy under these limitations? Do you think you can ignore this (at least by him) unwanted part of yourself, and do you think you can do so without it eating you up? If you want to try, I'd say try with all your heart. But be prepared that you might fail, and that at some point you may be alone anyway and ask yourself if possibly you have given too much. Of course that's just my bleak and jaded view of the world. In any way, I wish you all the best and hope that you will figure out a way that works for you.

[Ozme52]

The situation is that before we entered our relationship I was considering not seeing men at all, either vanilla or in the scene, He being the exception to that rule, so I think he sees women as threatening to his hold over me.
Also, it's the idea of me being Dominant at all which is a turn off, I believe. I love him, and we are making life plans... but I don't know if this sacrifice is too much.
We tried me seeing a woman, even vanilla, and he was too possessive.

Jealousy (a symptom? of possesiveness) is a real turn-off for me. Regardless if it's jealousy of another woman, a man, or time spent with friends, jealousy is both ugly and destructive to a healthy relationship.

You two need, or at least should want, to talk more about this.