Letters To My Master...

[DowntownAmber]

It's been some time since J and I have been regular posters, the reasons being too many and too complex to go into. The shortest way to tell the story is that He and I have come to a point where He had to make a decision between me and the relationship He has with His children.

I can debate the logic of His choice from my own perspective, but I can not and will not ever question the intentions of His heart as He makes it. I chose J-Go as my Master precisely because He is the type of man that is now making a decision that is breaking my heart in a way I could not have comprehended in the time before I knew Him.

To my Master...

I did not know that the last time we made love would indeed be the last time we would make love... I nearly turned you down that morning, I knew I was going to be late to work, but I could not resist the desire to feel you against me, to hold you, to look into your eyes as we exhausted our bodies in the expression of our souls. We ignored the clock and made slow and purposeful love and the world, as always, stopped in recognition of us.

I have given myself to no other as I have given myself to You, and on the verge of a pain I have no training to prepare myself to handle, I can still say I would walk this path with You all over again. There is no suffering so dark, no controversy so thick as to have the power to cloud over the pure and bright light that is the love I will forever hold for You.

Though You have chosen to release me, and hold no more power over me as my Master in title, I will serve my last act as your beloved pet by bearing this pain in a way that honors You and the relationship we shared. There are those who tell me I should be angry, that I shoud lash out, but as your submissive both in body and in mind I realize that my commitment extends beyond that pettiness. In the depths, I am honored that you trust me as the sole person in our situation to be able to shoulder what I will have to carry.

A Master I respect once told me, "trust Him Amber, you have to trust Him even when you have questions." I have many questions, but I will trust You Master and love You as always as the answers reveal themselves to me.

Know this, there will always and forever be one person in this world that loves and adores You. You will always have part of my soul, given freely for You to do with as You choose. I love You.

Your pet,

Amber.