Questions/Advice

[Guest013109]

Silke - many aspects of the BDSM community put a negative value on marriage, sexuality, purity and things of that nature. This community basically stretches every boundary possible. That is why keeping true to my faith as I practice BDSM within my own marriage is a difficult road. Biggest thing for me is trying to remain focussed and steering clear of all the sub-cultures of BDSM (i.e., pictures, stories, chat rooms, etc.)

This is where my past experiences and many years of influence make it hard for me to remain focussed. I've experienced first-hand all aspects of this community before I commited my life to Christ Jesus. I know how much my flesh enjoys the pictures/images of BDSM and the many stories generated from some talented imaginations. I need to practice self-reservation and steer clear of these things if I plan on not stumbliing.

I guess I opened a huge can of worms because there is so much I want to say but unsure how to do so. Hope I shed a little light on the topic.

-- I will definitely check out the christian BDSM groups online when I get a chance. May prove to be an effective resource.

[Alex Bragi]

Silke - many aspects of the BDSM community put a negative value on marriage, sexuality, purity and things of that nature. ...

While those from within the vanilla community put a more positive value on marriage, and are mostly pure and monogamous? Not, where I live, here on planet Earth, they're not.

I'm feel sure that the incidents of "negative values" are much the same in BDSM as vanilla communities. As each person (couple) finds his or her own level of what is acceptable sexual behaviour regardless of what activities they happen to enjoy in the bedroom (or dungeon ).

Quite frankly, I admire you for the way you have come in here and talked so openly about your religious values. Not too many men would feel as comfortable or confident about reconciling their Christian beliefs with their enjoyment of bdsm.

I wish you and you wife all the best in your journey of faith and marriage. I'm sure you, and your marriage, be stronger for both .

[cariad]

Silke - many aspects of the BDSM community put a negative value on marriage, sexuality, purity and things of that nature. This community basically stretches every boundary possible. That is why keeping true to my faith as I practice BDSM within my own marriage is a difficult road. Biggest thing for me is trying to remain focussed and steering clear of all the sub-cultures of BDSM (i.e., pictures, stories, chat rooms, etc.)

I think you have hit the nail on the head there. Chosen elements of B and D and S and M can be taken and incorporated into a Christian marriage. There are clearly some practices within the BDSM community which are contrary to God's laws and dabbling would be unwise. But as the point has already been made - this also applies to sexual practices within the vanilla community.

-- I will definitely check out the christian BDSM groups online when I get a chance. May prove to be an effective resource.

A word of warning here - I once ventured into those online groups, thinking they would be a safe space. The title suggests that it is safe to let your guard down - this is not the case. I did not meet anyone there who was deliberately perversive, but wonderful people who had fallen for different temptations and one needs to be just as vigilant. I so admire the stance you are taking!

cariad