Quote Originally Posted by fetishdj View Post
I can take it either way. I can have sex without BDSM but prefer it with and I can take my BDSM without sex but prefer it with.

One question to add to this thread: Do any of you find it more difficult to have sex without a BDSM element to it? In terms of actual difficulty in achieving orgasm? I say this because that is the psychological definition of a fetish - something which the person who has the fetish cannot achieve sexual gratification without. Which of course differs from the more mainstream definition.
I certainly agree with the common thread that sex is fine (boring, but fine) without the spices of BDSM...

To answer this second question, though...I'll say that I never had an orgasm until I began exploring BDSM (which isn't when I began having sexual adventures). I may add, though, that that isn't conclusive given the people that I was with and the situations in which....you get the idea.

But BDSM is one of those excellent things that really ups the ante in all sensations that I feel, hence my great joy with it + sex....