victims of abuse support for submissives

[angelic.zest]

HuGs to you all!!! oh my den *hugs tight*

[denuseri]

from the number of responses so far it looks like we shall need two meetings on or about friday to accomadate the sites international demographics. eaither way as we get closer to the day/nite we shall update everyone with a time for the perspective meetings, just come into chat around then and we will do the rest,

thanks everyone for the support we can use all the help we can get, and its perfectly ok to lurk at the meeting , no one has to speak, but everyone shall feel the love

hugs and kissess,,

Girl Up!!! my sistas~!

[TomOfSweden]

I think this is more important for this community than any other community. As we all know, submissiveness has both a good and bad facet. And I love submissiveness.... so I want to protect all those souls.

When I originally started writing in this forum it was just that. To offer support to abused submissives. I forget who it was, or even if I said anything. But women being abused touches my heart so much more than could be called rational. So I can't really think straight.

Love you all.

[gemmy]

Hmmmm I posted here yesterday?? Weird

Anyway, my best wishes to your effort and success on the meeting - I'm sure many will be helped with your kindness

[stripedangel]

Hmmmm I posted here yesterday?? Weird

Anyway, my best wishes to your effort and success on the meeting - I'm sure many will be helped with your kindness

i saw it, i saw it!! i dunno, that is weird!! you have a witness, gem...

Thanks to everyone for your suppot in this new venture!

If need be, i can be available for another meeting at any time, if another day would be better for some, PM and let me know, right now it's all in the works so adjustments can be made.

xxxx

[denuseri]

ok i think i will be off work for that friday, so anyone have a special time or somthing just pm us and let us know (me or stripey) and thanku so much Stripey for helping organize this thing, i would be lost with out cha,,

hugs and kissess all,,
be strong, girl up! my sistas!

[stripedangel]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

[icey]

i think its a lovely idea and will hopefully help many people but what exactly do you do? (i know dumb question sorry) is it only for subs who have been abused in d/s r/ships?
i wasnt in a r/ship i was age 5-14,then raped at 17 always seemed to be in the wong place at the right time lol then some other not so major stuff until i met Icehawk,
the stuff while i was a kid was what you'd call bdsm (light) i know that now looking back (wont go into detail) but its a bit complicated i cant really call it bdsm i didnt even know what that was lol and it certainly wasnt a r/ship.
so would i 'qualify' to help in anyway? where would i stand in this.
it doesnt hurt me and ive never let it and i dont think id need help for myself,but id like to help if i can.

babypup,i hope alls ok with the anorexia and that it's under control im ana too which im kind of struggling with atm so i know what you've been through,you've done really well ...give yourself some credit, you'e stronger than you realise! so well done you for being so brave *hugs*

[butterflySlave4u]

aww, icey, i'm thinking abuse is abuse....whether verbal, emotional or physical....IN the Life, or out...we're all bonded here, now...and i think for so many of us to be able to meet together this way is amazing....so gawd yes woman....join us!

[denuseri]

^definitly what she said boo

the only thing we dont want coming to the meeting would be a troll, and unless someone took exception to it i imagine even a dom or domme would also be acceptable, they can be a victum of abuse too even if only by proxy or as a sign of support for thier sub or all subs,

as for what do we do at the meet:
thats one thing the meeting is going to be all about, i know we can all discuss these things here in the forum, but this medium is far slower when it comes to organizing some kind of effort,which i hope a face to face chat can kinda help with( and i hope the gals who organized the H&H Subs Club can give us a big hand in that),
another thing> no trolls will be in the private chat room with us, the only people there that will know what we say to one another will be us. so its an even safer enviroment especially for people that are not ready to come out about thier abuse situations in an open forum like this one.
as well as a more personal meet, all that want to in the private chat room, where we can talk openly about ourselves , share what has worked for us in the past, find out what may work in future
in addition to which we can allways:
show our compasion for one another,
we can share and grow together,
we can lend our strength to our sisters and brothers

i have seen the subs at this site show amazing strength
especially when we are helping each other

peace out,, "girl up! my sistas!"

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

aww, icey, i'm thinking abuse is abuse....whether verbal, emotional or physical....IN the Life, or out...we're all bonded here, now...and i think for so many of us to be able to meet together this way is amazing....so gawd yes woman....join us!

Definitely, butterfly! Any kind of abuse is abuse. It doesn't matter the form. I remember once I had Oprah on when I cooking dinner and this woman was on there talking about the abuse she had suffered from her husband. Then Oprah put her foot in her mouth when she made the comment that the woman had suffered "only" verbal abuse. I am assuming that Oprah doesn't think abuse is bad unless it is physical. The audience and other panel members really came down Oprah (as well they should have) for saying something like that. In fact, throughout the show, they kept making little jibes about it being "only verbal abuse."

It doesn't matter if the other person is throwing insults at you or throwing you against the wall. It is abuse, plain and simple.

[stripedangel]

Abuse is abuse, folks. your experiences were as bad on you as mine were on me. it all does the same to us, making it hard to trust and hard to love. Sometimes, it makes us just feel worthless. Abuse causes us to carry baggage around that others must deal with if they want to be a part of our lives...so the victim list may start with the abused, but it doesn't end there. We are all changed by it.

We definitely want to see you all there, no matter what abuse you've survived, or what the situatuion was....or what the situation is. No one will be judged, i would hope we all speak freely, and be honest. Cuss, cry, throw a frikkin fit, y'all, that's all a part of healing and helping.

If you're just curious....show up.
If you're a survivor or currently abused now...show up.
If you've been abused in the scene...show up.
If you're attached or attracted to a survivor......show up.
If you don't have anything to share...show up.

We're all here to support one another, that's the main idea. i believe that everything happens for a reason.... When we cannot find strenth in ourselves, we can find it in others, and borrow it...right? One day, hour, minute, second, or breath at a time. We all support one another in our lifestyle and the journeys that are included in it. This is another journey, and we should have a path and location for that support as well...as it applies to our community, and our families, friendships and relationships.

[Kuskovian]

This goes without saying; but, I just want all of you to know, I will allways stand with you, vigilant to the end.

Even before I saw first hand the kind of trauma the sick fucks in this world can cause, I was strongly biased against abusing another human being for any reason.

It filled my heart with rage beyond discription when I found Seri had been in a living hell.

I had allways blamed myself for loosing contact with her after my first wife and I were stationed away from her overseas. I should have found a way to bring her with us. I was her first Master, to me fell the gift, the responsibility to see her well kept.

I had failed.

Never again; I vowed.

Never again would I allow harm to come to her.

Fate, fortune, the will of the God or Godess, I know not what touched my heart when I looked into her eyes that night.

All I do know is it burns within me still to this day.

[stripedangel]

Thanks for that.


xxx stripey

[ashtonDs]

Originally posted by sisterhoney61:
It doesn't matter if the other person is throwing insults at you or throwing you against the wall. It is abuse, plain and simple

I think anyone who was emotionally and/or verbally abused has had at least one person say that they "had suffered 'only' verbal abuse." Shame, humiliation (malicious humiliation!) and degredation take longer to heal because even sometimes the victims are really hard on themselves (like me). Saying things like "why do I feel this way, at least I wasn't beaten!"

It took me a long time to see what happened as "real" abuse. It wasn't until a therapist gave me a rather incredulous look and told me in no uncertain terms, "You feel that way because you suffered abuse!" That was quite a revelation. It was difficult to accept. Abuse only happens to others, not me. Well it did happen. Now I'm able to work through it.

Originally posted by icey:
always seemed to be in the wrong place...

Please think about joining the discussion. Your comment almost sounds like you are placing the blame for the rape on you. Rape is wrong no matter where you are and what place it is. If you feel like you can't say anything just listen.

[ashtonDs]

Originally posted by newslave:
though I would never leave our brothers in survival out

oops! I think I attributed this quote to the wrong person...sorry.

and, thanks for the thought!

ash

[ashtonDs]

Originally posted by Kuskovian:
All I do know is it burns within me still to this day

Kuskovian, I don't know your whole story but you can only protect someone so far. If some idiot is going to do something totally wrong and stupid, they will find a way no matter what you do.

Don't beat yourself up. If you can be a support now be that. And what I have to say next is something that all who have suffered abuse have to deal with: Look forward. There is little to be gained by fixating on the past. Let the past strenghen your resolve for the future, that's where life is.

[denuseri]

Master: (with tears in my eyes) i just read your post,,omg i love yu so much, i am the luckiest girl in the world to have you as my husband,friend,mentor,master,owner and protector, my one my all.

Please know it wasn't your fault, never your fault what happened,how could it be i was the one that fell out of touch, went my own way,got into trouble

you saved me that nite,

your still saving me every day

[stripedangel]

Y'all we're all set! subbie talkstarts around 12 noon (i'm central time US) i will be online until midnight if need be...denu will be on around the same time, so if you don't catch us, we'll be back real soon! Everybody's welcome to join in and share!

Can't wait to see you all there!

xxxx

[butterflySlave4u]

ok, ignore my post in the Mentoring Program thread, denuseri....Central time, people!!!

[butterflySlave4u]

went in and sat for a while...have to go for a few hours....but will bbl.....

[denuseri]

the support meeting is todayfriday the 13 in chat, centeral standard time between the hours of noon and midnite to any that are interested, just come to the lobby and pm me for details i will be in and out all day

thanku all for yur support hugs and kissess

[butterflySlave4u]

[Kuskovian]

I would like all interested to know, that the support group meeting went very well indeed and we all thank those that participated.

A special invite only social group has been developed for the purposes of continuing the groups efforts in a more private venue to help survivors of abuse.

This group will allow those of us wishing to help a way of further organizing our efforts.

Information on who to contact for membership shall be presented by the group here in the near future.

Thank you all for your continued support and interest.

[Trina]

Hi Everyone,

I think abuse comes in many forms. My father was also verbaly abusive and a prefectionist whom nothing was ever good enough. I've recently engaged in a relationship with a man whom, I can never seem to be good enough for. He likes having sex with me just fine, but I feel like I'm trying to please him in every other way; because nothing I do is good enough for him. Strangely, like my father. Mental abuse is very is damaging and almost as bad as physical(though it doesn't compare). It still can mess you up and it's very hard to get away from or out of. I've been physically abused but not in anyway in comparission to this post. It makes me very sad that anyone can be abused in such a way. I'm sorry to hear about your ordeal but glad you posted... I think that people need to know what can go on by meeting a stranger. I've done it too much recently. Thanks for the warning. I will take heed.

[denuseri]

Abuse has too many forms Trina, and i wish we could end every one of them. i appluade yu on yur courage for coming forward about your own.
Sometimes to heal the wounds we have must bleed, but in the end we will be stronger for it.
If you ever need anything, just someone to talk to, or support you, please feel free to pm me for any assistance i can give.

[Alex Bragi]

Please be aware that this group is not affiliated with BDSMlibrary.

As is always the case, on line, please be careful about personal details and information you chose to reveal, and please always respect other people's confidentiality.

[butterflySlave4u]

sooooooo.....whens the next chat meeting??

[gemmy]

Mental abuse is very is damaging and almost as bad as physical(though it doesn't compare). It still can mess you up and it's very hard to get away from or out of.

Trina, hunnie - all abuse is bad and not to be compared with anything or anyone else's experiences - what damages you, is exactly that ...damage to you simply. Mental abuses can, in cases be worse in different ways luv, they are things you continue to think about yourself long after your tormentor is no longer a part of your life, so you continue their work of damage and in essence pay them homage for their abuse by continuing it. It's easy to say let it go, and unrealistic. It's a matter of working it through to see yourself on the other side, a viable, Valuable person and believing it

Physical abuse can have physical ramifications and manifestations: cutting, hurting yourself in a physical manner

Mental abuse has the same effect in that it too manifests itself mentally: low self image, self esteem, self worth

They are both powerful abuses that hurt us deeply in many many ways - talking and seeking help in even the smallest ways does help build strength and clarity to see the other side.

Some of us will never be 'fixed' but we can go through our lives a little more healthy and break the chain of abuse so it never touches our children or loved ones

Good luck hun and good for you for posting!

[Trina]

Hi Mastersgem, I have been seeing a therapist for sometime now but I do think the cycle continues and is very hard to break. The ramifications for me are definitly low self-image, esteem and worth. I laughed when my therapist asked me to bring my father for a group session. I am one of five siblings all of whom have been stilited as adults; it doesn't take a genius to figure something must have gone wrong with the way we were raised. My father was an expert on mental and never physical.
I do think the mental abuse is harder for me... physically the bruises go away and you forget; it's what has been said that doesn't go away.

Thanks for your comments and I've been working toward getting whole.