I was in a very similar situation when I divorced my ex-wife... and this is when I met my current wife. So I think I can empathise.

Emotional uproar, (like divorce) makes you question everything about you. This is good. But just because you're questioning it, doesn't mean it'll change. It probably won't. It'll just make you aware of the things you already have within you.

Sex is in the head so there's no generalised rule covering how much any dom needs to live out to feel content. You need to figure out exactly what you need and aim for that. The rest is fluff. The key here is need, not want. We desire all kinds of shit we don't really need.

If you're in pain when you don't have it... then it is a need. For example, do you feel empty when your lover doesn't swallow your cum unflinching on command? If you want it because everybody has it in the group you identify yourself with, its just a want. We can never have everything we want, so even trying to get everything you want is just setting yourself up for misery.

Needs have to be fulfilled, wants are used to spice your life. I think that's a good map to follow for the serious dominant.

Questions on that?