Claire, I am a BBW and have been a plus size since high school. I've always felt unattractive to men and in school would walk with my shoulders hunched and my head down, staring at the ground. I did my best to blend in with the woodwork and remain invisible to people. As a result, my self-esteem was nil and I remained a virgin and dateless until I was 25. My best friend and her boyfriend at the time hooked me up with a guy the boyfriend worked with. He became the first man who really noticed me. I thought that I would never find another man to pay any attention to me and I jumped at the chance to be with him (desperation is not a good reason to be with someone). As a result, I entered a marriage that was abusive and I spent more of my married years alone than I did with him.

I met Master two years after my divorce. W/we met online and got involved in a relationship there without Him knowing what I looked like. When I explained to Him that I was a BBW, He said that was fine with Him, because He liked big girls. And after I sent Him my picture He said that He was looking forward to being with me in person. W/we have now been together IRL almost nine years. But even though Master tells me He loves me and accepts me the way I am and loves the fact that I am a BBW, I still have my "fat days." I still have my days when I look in the mirror and all I see is a beached whale and a fat cow. However, those days are getting fewer and farther between than they used to be. I can hold my head up when I'm with Him. I can walk around naked with Him.

Master keeps saying that one day I will believe Him when He tells me that I'm beautiful and sexy. He also adds that I may be on my deathbed, but I'll believe Him. I know how hard it is to finally get it through your head that you are beautiful just the way you are at this very moment. You are beautiful and sexy and loved. Right now.