Wait, what - we're not talking about scene as in indie/shoegaze? How confusing!

I'd recommend the below:

At The Drive-In's Acrobatic Tenement - "Initiation" in particular is about obsession and strangulation. Great line: "No restraining order can keep me from you."

Cannibal Corpse's 15 Year Killing Spree - "Meathook Sodomy" can really set the mood.

Atari Teenage Riot - Anything, but especially the Burn, Berlin, Burn album. "Hetzjagd Auf Nazis" is a great song to fuck by; I can't think of a harder speedthrash guitar solo. Alec Empire's solo albums are often good also, including the singles "The Peak", and "Don't Lie White Boy".

I wouldn't recommend the sort of casual sexuality of things like Peaches "Fuck The Pain Away" and "AA XXX"... or Lords of Acid's Lust album. To me, they're too silly, and I always try and keep the laughter out of my scenes.

Slight segue: here's the list of music the U.S. government plays while torturing people. Watch out! It features such brutal, terrifying tracks as the themesong to Barnie the Dinosaur, and cliche` overly-commercialized metal like "Enter The Sandman" and Drowning Pool's "Bodies" (that everyone with a radio has already heard played ad nauseum).