Fantasy vs. Stark Reality...

[woodsman'sgame]

Faibhar wrote:

But should you likewise be curious and seek to realize a life-long fantasy life, be forewarned. It should come as no great surprise that what happens in real life frequently falls way short of desires your head and body may hold. Be prepared to significantly lower your bar of expectations. Keep in mind the notion that when pride flees hope sometimes remains. The faint glimmer that reality might somehow, someday come close to matching fantasy becomes not all that much of a dream..

I have never been to a scene. Never experienced anything in BDSM outside of what woodsman and I do privately, but I would have imagined it to be much like you described.

I walk out in public everyday and see that the majority of us are not sleek and attractive. If I went to a scene, I would expect to find what I see on the street: a great variety of people with few great beauties.

Reality and fantasy are what we make of it. In the American ideal, beauty comes with slim thighs and washboard stomachs.
In other cultures, big is beautiful. Men look for women whose ample bodies symbolize wealth and comfort. They delight in feeling the soft mounds of voluptuous flesh and laying their heads on round bellies and large buttocks, or in the case of BDSM, laying their whips on these areas. =)

I have looked at pictures of many different people on this site, the often fake pictures of the websites and the real pictures of those who have shared with us their personal photos. The real ones are so much more erotic to me, for I can imagine that they were taken during real scenes of passion.
When I see the website pictures, I imagine the woman getting up when its done, grabbing her pay and walking out, bored with the entire shoot.

I am not saying that beautiful people cannot be passionate, of course. I am saying that the eroticism and the arousal comes from what goes on in the mind more than the body.

I would find it hard to be aroused or comfortable even in a scene like you described, but I would have difficulty even if the people were beautiful, I would think. It would all seem so staged and fake, a show rather than a real encounter.

... one more thought
In vanilla life, most people have sex but few are are willing to play out their sex scenes in public. I certainly wouldn't draw any conclusions about who participates in BDSM from going to one of these scenes.