Quote Originally Posted by mastersgem View Post
Oh claire, you darling you!

Absolutely very well said physical attraction isn't about the plastic or the polish, it's about the simple knowing good on you for articulating what I've been failing miserably at.

*hugs* xo
I'm not so sure about that. What we're attracted is not only defined by cultural pressures... ie selecting for qualities that are hard to attain for the sake of exclusivity. Like being attracted to rock hard abs or skinny girls in in trendy clothing.

There's a second type of primeval pure instinct attraction which probably is stronger but much harder to understand in ourselves. It's the pure animal part in us. That's what I think you mean that you're preferring. I also think that we don't like to have this type of attraction because we cannot control it effectively. We fear what it'll compel us to do. These two different types of systems are in conflict.

This is cutting edge science at the moment so its hard to say anything definite. But there are things they've been able to show. Like testosterone/oestrogen levels are important. Men with disproportionately high levels of testosterone will be attracted to women with disproportionally high levels of oestrogen. Basically, big hairy men with deep voices and bulging muscles will be the soul mates of women with big hips, smooth skin and big tits. While the small breasted slim women will fall for smaller guys with smoother skin. Obviously its more complex than my simplified model. Hormones define a large part of our behaviour and personality which probably is even more important than the looks. Big tits is correlated to "girly" behaviour.

I think what is happening is that a man with the genetic make-up you're attracted to...well... you'll think he's interesting and clever because you think he's hot. But because he's doesn't display stuff I mentioned first, you think that its somehow less superficial.

I'm not saying we can't have deep fulfilling love that is intellectually stimulating and all that. But I don't think the stuff we're attracted to is in any way deep. He's just pushing the right buttons. I'm sure you know the feeling of chatting to a guy and find yourself very attracted to him, and then you meet him... and you find yourself completely unattracted to him. It wasn't his fault. You were reading physical properties from his texts and chats that weren't there.

I don't think I'm devaluing love in any way BTW. I think it's wonderful and beautiful still. Self-consciousness is a great feature that sets us apart from other animals. But it just makes us conscious of what is there. We're not any less animals or any less ruled by animal sexual instinct.

Everybody might as well post pictures of themselves, since none of us has any clue what others might be attracted to. We can guess... but we'll probably be wrong. Girls have never fallen for that which I've always been most proud of. I work out and is in great shape. Even so number one most popular part is my eyes and eye-brows.... I mean WTF! I can't do anything about them!?!? What's the fun in that?