Quote Originally Posted by ashtonDs View Post
I'm dealing with some crapola right now and it's really got me down. How do some of you deal with your abuser(s)?

Several people have told me that I have to forgive my abuser. Right now I don't think it's possible. What I am trying to do is to let it go, to release it, so it doesn't rule my life like it once did.

Maybe at some point in the future I'll be able to say I forgive her. The problem is, the person she abused is a fourth grader in her classroom a long time ago. On top of that she never saw a reason to ask for forgiveness because she doesn't see what she did as wrong.
I deal with my abuser by not dealing with him. I haven't seen him in 10 years. I have no idea where he is. He could be in prison (which is very likely) or he could be six feet under (which is also very likely). But I still have nightmares about him and had one just last week in fact. I will still say something to Master that will imply that He will hurt me in some way, and He has to gently remind me that He is not my ex.

Will I ever be able to forgive him? I honestly don't know. One person that I do need to forgive is myself, because I will often think back to that marriage and tell myself what an idiot I was for marrying him and remaining in the marriage. All the red flags were there on our first date. And yet I married him anyway. My self-esteem was so low at that point that I jumped at the chance of being with him because he had paid attention to me. He went on a date with me and wanted to see me again. No one had ever done that before. I was terrified that if I wasn't with him I wouldn't have another opportunity to be with someone else. So one of these days I need to forgive that lonely young woman and remind her that she has grown since then and has learned from her mistakes. I have to remind her that she is no longer the same person she once was and now indeed has what she has always wanted: the love of a good man.