Worthy post and great replies.
I would like to think I’m a sensitive person, and even as a Dom I really don’t apologize for that. When I am hurt, particularly by someone I care for, I have a very difficult time hiding it. Now I could go on and on as to why I hurt and what is the real core of that pain and all that psycho-babble BS, but that’s not the point of the thread. Yes as a Dom I am sensitive it’s what makes me who I am and I think a big part of being a good Dom and partner.
Pain is a part of how we get to know each other and presents us with choices as to how to deal with a situation and how to move on in our life. If something someone I love is doing causes me pain this is an indication that we probably don’t see a situation from the same point of view, we now have the choice to discuss this or simply be hurt. If the issue remains unresolved, say said partner decides that what she is doing is not painful to me i.e. invalidates my pain, then too I have a choice. I can choose to hang in there and try to deal with it or I can move on to a different place or relationship so I no longer have to deal with the pain.
I think you did the right thing, you pushed him to be intimate and share his source of pain and even though you did not intentionally hurt him you owned the fact that indeed your words or actions hurt him. One of the sacrifices of a relationship is understanding what causes the person you claim to love emotional pain and try not to do that…no matter how “justified” you feel you are. I find it terribly offending when someone tells me “you’re being silly, that shouldn’t hurt you!” To me that’s just selfish in essence taking the stand “I’m gonna do what I want to do and if it hurts you that’s your problem” I’ll only hang in there with that hurt for so long, then I’m out…also part of being Dom I think.
Obviously I’m assuming healthy interactions here and certainly not addressing unreasonable hurts like, “it hurts me when you see your children” or “I’m paranoid when you leave the house”…whole different can of worms.
Antway GREAT job at choosing to communicate…keep it up!