Right or wrong?

[rooshoe]

I've never played casually, so I can't speak on that. I do find that in a relationship, it's essential to have outside interests to keep the relationship fresh. I've also found that beyond having things in common that you enjoy, it is really, really, really important to have similar energy/activity levels and similar outlooks on life. I've found that to be true in strictly vanilla relationships as well. If you want to be out hiking and kayaking every weekend, and don't get ruffled by drivers who cut you off, whereas your partner wants to be inside reading and doing puzzles and is quickly upset by snippy people, you're probably going to have problems beyond any issues you might have in bed.

[Polaris]

I haven't played casually either, so as the others I can't comment on that. I know, however, that in the past the BDSM aspect really was a strong glue for the relationship I had at that time. In a way BDSM is a big common interest, don't you think? Additionally, it comes in the package with trust and respect and tends to eliminate the power struggles that are common in vanilla relationships (at least that's true for me). I don't think, though, that it's a glue strong enough to hold a relationship together. There needs to be some other things to hold on to...some things you have in common, some things you can explore when reality kicks in and neither is in the mood for kink. Just my two cents

[snowflake]

I have played casual with two others when i was with my old Master.. He enjoyed sharing me.. and you are right .. you still have to have trust and respect but you also need those times that you enjoy when you are sitting around after a play session.. I would spend a few days with these other Doms not just a few hours.. so we had to have a comman ground ..and things we enjoyed to do together..

I am still very close friends with the other two Dom's although we do not play any more.. and still enjoy their company and their humor and sharing things we both enjoy ..

As far as respect goes .. there has to be respect and concern for all parties or it is not much fun for either let alone the safety feature which is extremely important..

With both i had my saftey words .. they knew my limits and they took care of me even if i was ill.. as anyone concerned about a close friend would..Yes there were strong emotions and attachements.. but you have to have those to gain the trust that is needed even in a causal relationship.. just as you do with any close freindship..

I truly beleive it is wise to go slow and build on a D/s relationship... That way the trust is there as without it ..the relaxation and enjoyment can not be completely fufilled.. And it is harder to push limits and boundaries which you need to do to grow...

Just my opinion

hugs
snow