Years ago, I dated a guy who was well into the 300lbs. He was the funniest, most charming man I have ever met. To be honest, had I not been friends with him, first, I can’t say that I would have dated him. Not that I am shallow, but at the age of 23, most girls don’t look much at the balding, fat types. To this day, he is one of my dearest friends.

I had been pretty self-conscious about my own weight, being 10 pounds overweight, myself. I always wondered how someone could ever love me, looking the way I did. (I know, my only excuse is youth) What I learned from that relationship is that you can never judge someone on their outside appearance. I learned that if I could love him, despite the fact that he was over weight, then, most likely, the only person who was bothered by my extra 10 pounds was me.

I understand the frustration involved when looking for a partner, especially in this lifestyle. It’s hard enough to be open about it, let alone finding someone else whom you are compatible with. Maybe you could try looking online, get to know people, before meeting them in person. As your relationship develops online and over the phone, perhaps their appearance will not seem so important.

Just my two cents