I'm going to echo Ragoczy here--you need to be patient. There are a large number of posers in the world of BDSM and you've got your work cut out for you in separating the wheat from the chaff.

Take your time. You have every right and reason to want to develop trust before you expose yourself on film or in person. That's where the whole 'sane' comes in with the mantra safe, sane, and consensual. Wait until you've built the respect before you offer your submission.

One recommendation I have is to look around these or other forums and see if there is a Dom/me whose responses to threads or by their posts shows you something to admire. Respectfully approach them about being a mentor for you or your protector. A lot of the wannabe's will back off immediately if they know that you are being watched over by an honorable Dom/me.

Good luck in the search.