Quote Originally Posted by Scarletbeauty View Post
So, my boyfriend and I have been dating now for 6 months and 3 weeks--it'll be 7 months on the 16th--and we have an incredible sex life. He's known about my love of The Lifestyle from about 3 months in. I told him how I crave dominance and pain, and told him that since I was developing very strong feelings for him that he needed to tell me if he could provide that for me, or if we needed to end it.
He told me that while he's never tried BDSM and he's not usually in control, he wants us to work out and would try.
Since then, he's been learning about The Lifestyle and BDSM, and D/s relationships.
He's been really wonderful--very open, and if I tell him that I need to be dominated, he will do it immediately.
Only lately has he been acting dominant almost all of the time. Even when I'm not in the mood, if he wants me, I have to do it anyways. ~drools slightly~
I just get really scared, because in the past, when he's acted like this, he'll frighten himself and back off.
I love the feeling of submitting to him.
I really want to show him that it's okay for him to enjoy bringing me pain, because *I* enjoy it.
I just don't how to do that.
Any suggestions?
My suggestion would be to reinforce the dominant behaviors by submitting quickly and completely. At least initially, don't get into a situation where he has to force the issue, because in some ways he's having to fight a lot of societal conditioning as well. Regardless of whether he's finding he likes the role or whether it comes naturally to him, there're a lot of "that's bad" messages in society with regard to strong, dominant males. So he has to get the "screw society, this is good"-mindset going and the more you reinforce that, the easier it'll be for him. Keep in mind that he's had, what, three months to grow into this role and you've had how long?