yu said it annie

nothing brings me to tears faster than knowing i have somehow not been found pleasing by him, even a look or him shaking his head and leaving the room which is worse than if he actually siad it for me, if he is indefferent later its just hell

heck i am happy if he says fetch the quirt or something it means i am gonna get the chance to redeam myself somehow by accepting physical punishment, unless he says for me to get "the slut get right stick" then i know i am really in for it big time and beg profusely when allowed(its a flexible piece of pex pipe wrapped in leather and duct tape) and works like a cane but with omg way more sting more sting, and even though i would avoid the very intense physical pain it produces and beg, inside i am glad becuase it means he is forgiving me by allowing me to be punnished