I used to be, a couple years ago when I realized that I was into more than just general bdsm stuff. I was probably like 14 when I realized that snuff and torture did things to me that normal porn didn't even touch on, I realized that I hurt myself out of pleasure more than anything. I was mainly afraid I was the only person, finding other people online (or hearing of them, rather, I've yet to find anyone into my specific preferences) helped that though.