uhm, i think i get what you mean LeighK81, i get similar feelings of 'attack' with things I'm told--even though humiliation turns me on completely, there are times when i feel like i'm being critisised, or told off, when i'm 'cornered' into admitting i like pain, or specific words. when i think about it logically, like you say, i know that i'm not being attacked, nor critisised [i have even ASKED if i was being told off for it and got the answer i expected to get, which was 'of course not'] but my mind thinks i am. so yeh, i don't know how to help, maybe you should talk it over with your Dom? there are situations where re-assurance is needed at the moment you get the bad feeling--it will be easier to leave you alone then.
best wishes