I’m certain it must feel as if there are no words appropriate to diminish the feelings of frustration you expressed in this post. I agree that the circumstances you described and the feelings of negativity you have as a result, makes for a very difficult place to find yourself in. Platitudes can seem pretty hollow at a time such as this but hopefully maybe I can offer even a single word that might encourage you.

At those times in life when there are no bands playing, no flags flying, and no one who seems to understand what you are going through, quite naturally we feel like giving up and throwing in the towel. But given that you expressed love for your Sir and the desire that you might be with him always, I urge you to reconsider and to continue to fighting through your circumstances.

Make the decision that no matter what, you will simply not allow yourself to fail. Three strikes and you’re not out! There is always one more thing you can do to influence any situation in your favor and to increase your odds of success – and after that one more thing – and after that one more thing.… Never say no to yourself; demand that your circumstances say no to you. Cultivating and believing in your own depth of character and commitment will allow you to persevere against the greatest odds and against the greatest adversity. Beyond learning to never quit, by cultivating a positive attitude, you will find that you can do anything. Think back to past times that you were faced with adversity and glean from those valuable lessons learned how to face the difficulties you are facing now. When you are hit with difficulties, you can’t just decide to give up and give in. Deal with the facts, understand your situation, make a decision to affect changes in those areas you can to improve your situation and then go with it. Commit yourself to choosing the harder choice of struggling to overcome adversity rather than choosing the easier path of least resistance by giving up. Learning to perform under pressure in critical situations will help you develop the solid character and self confidence to be tough mentally when you face tough situations in the future. Giving up only makes it easier to give up the next time. Good luck to you.