This seems to be the question of the week! There have been a lot of people here asking that very question. There are different ways to find someone in the lifestyle. You can find one right here on this site. We have a personal ads section here. You can also read through the various posts on the forums and find a like-minded person and PM them to see if they would be interested in getting to know you better. You can participate in the chat room and meet people there. Just make sure that you follow the chat room rules and ask first in the room before PMing someone. There are other BDSM forums out there where you can meet others and they all seem to operate more or less the same way the Library does.

You can find people IRL as well, through a munch at a club or a dungeon or a play party or different fetish events; though a lot of these are in larger cities. Sometimes you have to search for them. I know that some clubs will feature a fetish night like once a month or something like that. True, you get a lot of poseurs and wannabes dressed in leather, but you never know who you'll meet. There are websites where you can find clubs, dungeons, munches and events in your local area. Type in BDSM and your city/state and you'll get lists of local places/events.

It will take some effort on your part to find someone in the lifestyle, but once you find the right person it is well worth all the work you put into it. Good luck!