hey there everyone,

well, i'm relatively new to this, although i've known all along that this is who i am. i have always had these tendencies, ever since i can remember. my earliest memory is probably when i was about 5yrs old and i tied up my cousin and beat her with a switch. the more she cried the more i wailed on her and the more i enjoyed it. i made her and other kids push me around in a home-made cart for hours and hours. if we played 'house' i'd always be the dad and one of the kids or the mom would always be in trouble.

it's only in my early twenties that i had small experiences with bdsm. i remember i had a girlfriend who enjoyed rough sex, she liked the idea of 'play-rape' but she told me that i was too rough and that i should be more passionate in my kissing. still i was stifled because of my upbringing and background. i come from an ultra-conservative and religious family, my family is muslim by the way, and that's how we were brought up. i suppressed my feelings for a long time until recently when i met someone and it just so happened she shared my taste. the only difference was that where i desired to be 'top'... she loved being 'bottom'. so, it appeared like a match made in heaven. and she had over 10yrs experience. i had my first real bdsm experience with her and it was AWESOME...i got a little carried away for a bit and i drew some blood but she loved it. and i was both amazed and appalled at my lust and excitement for it. you know anything non-mainstream is thought to be deviant and not different. so, here i am. i must say i feel a lot happier just being true to myself. but it's a lot easier coming out as gay than as a bdsm lifestyle practitioner. i shared with one good friend and he freaked out. i think for now i'll only share this with like-minded people. anyway, i'm glad to be a part of this community and hope to meet lots and lots of interesting people. i am actually from south africa but right now i'm working in norway. so feel free to write me with comments or advice or whatever.