I noticed that triggers were being mentioned quite a bit and thought I'd explain my triggers and how I deal with them. Many have absolutely nothing to do with sexual activity per se, and I found them utterly devastating.

During the attack on me a radio was playing and one of the tracks was "Pure" by The Lightning Seeds. I didn't even notice at the time.

Shopping one day in the city centre I heard it playing and I went into what I can only describe as a total panic. I was in a cold sweat, hyperventilating, crying, shaking, I couldn't see or hear properly and the flashback was so intense it was like it was happening all over again. After this, I was caught out a few times with this song and decided I had to tackle the issue head on. I bought the album and I played that damned track into oblivion in the safety of my own home. It wasn't easy, it took months and months, but eventually I was able to hear this track and not react. Similarly, when I was caught out years later by Billy Ocean and "Red Light Spells Danger" (I hadn't heard it since the attack and had no idea it was a trigger for me), I got someone to tape it for me. Then I put it on in the car at 3am, drove to the University car park and sat and screamed. Sounds mad, but it worked. Then I played it for months.

I now love those tracks and they are no longer triggers for me. I've found that hunting out my triggers and dealing with them one by one has been the easiest way.

When it comes to triggers in a sexual setting, it can be more difficult, but I'm able to discuss this with my OH, ask him to do whatever it is with the warning that I will fall apart and it isn't his fault. If we keep doing this, the trigger stops being a trigger.

I hope this makes sense to anyone reading. I don't in any way think that this will work for everyone, but it did work for me (although it is still a work in progress).