looking for help

[Polaris]

He doesn't need to release you, skp2bear. It is true that -- at least as far as I'm informed -- this is a common thing to do in BDSM relationships that ceased working out, but I always understood it more as a consensual breakup, just like when in a vanilla relationship you decide that you don't fit together anymore, and part as friends and without a lot of hard feelings. Do I believe it would be the right thing for him to do? Yes, of course. Without wanting to judge from the little I know, I find such behaviour irresponsible and harmful. Breakups are always hard, but they are incredible hard if you don't know why and are just ignored, or sent away without any reason. Been there, done that, I know how much it hurts -- and I imagine it is even harder in a D/s context.

I know that some might disagree with that, but even if we give away our power, even if we subject ourselves to the will of another -- we are by no means obliged to subject ourselves to something that is harmful to us. We need not be loyal to people who are not loyal to us. We need not love people who do not love us. We need to respect people who do not respect us. I strongly belief that if he treats you like this -- basically simply ignoring you and moving on to greener waters -- you do not have to stick around and wait for him to take an action that he is, as it seems, not prepared to take. You are free to move on, and this is what I would do in your shoes, painful as it might be. Silence can speak volumes too. And it stings. A lot.

Taking care of yourself, moving on from something somebody else has messed up does not make you less of a submissive. But his behaviour, in my humble opinion, makes him less of a master.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck and hope that things will be resolved soon! Many hugs to you.

[sayuna]

Hey there skp2bear,
some good wisdom in some of these posts. Though we've only corresponded a tiny bit, you certainly sound like a lovely person and no one deserves such awful immoral treatment. Dare to live your dreams, and don't let some third rate 'master' get in the way of that.
hugs and good luck!