uuhm,for me and me alone, i think it's all ok when it comes to fantasy, but when reality comes into play, you need to know that you submit because YOU choose to and it fulfills you, not because you were forced. i don't necessarily mind it in roleplay, being 'forced', but i must feel 101% safe to play along without getting panicky. Otherwise i'm very happy and fulfilled by going along, getting into bondage and adoring the pain because i choose to suffer or get pleasure for my dominant, not because he's forcing me.