Thank you so much for posting this, it sounds so much like me and I was begging to get weary of being made to feel like a weird one out, because mindlessly obeying anyone and everyone who says they are a master just doesn't come natural to me. Yes, I want to be pleasing to the one, but my surrender will only come after he demonstrates that he is strong enough to handle me and trustworthy enough for me to give into his will.