Quote Originally Posted by damyanti View Post
I am used to having to be in control. I am very good at it.

So I am trying to get my mind wrapped around the concept of obedience...and its correlation to submission.

Because I have no idea how to put this into words, I will try with an example:

I like the idea of "him" taking control. I like to be pleasing. For instance, he likes to control what I wear...now that is not a limit of mine and I obviously want to please him. But what if he has a lousy sense of fashion? Its fine for when we are alone, but what about going in public...what if he wants me to dress in a slutty fashion, think Cavalli and I am more of a Dior kind of girl, lol.

(In a situation where limits are essentially agreed upon, and parties are compatible) how do you obey, if its something you don't like (if its not your style)?

Well, when it comes to ordinary issues all couples face (like where to live, what school we send our son to) we usually try to reach some kind of compromise just like in a vanilla marriage.

When it comes to normal, mundane stuff where I have given Him control - is we first talk about it, what and why I want Him to control, and to which degree. Its ok to discuss parameters, in fact its a must - for instance, if you are vegetarian and you want him to control your food intake, he has to be aware of it and you have to trust that he will respect that. My husband doesn't control what I wear 24/7, but He does like to pick things out and give them to me saying, "Wear this tonight", or He sends me a message that I am to go groceries shopping without panties - but He would never order me to dress as a slut for work, since He knows that due to my line of work that would be unacceptable, instead He picks out the suit He wants me to wear or changes some little detail so I am always aware of His control.

Its all about parameters, and trusting He will do the right thing for you - if you cant trust him with that...